.......................................thin line

The day, our soul establishes its reign inside the physical body, we are introduced to the cobweb of blood relations. Right starting from our genetic donors that is our grand parents to the entire chain of relatives gets tattooed  to our identity. Even if we don't acknowledge the relation, the D.N.A always says aloud, " we are relatives"!!.
Rest of the bonding appendages in the form of friends, whom we choose our self and share the most vital times of our journey. After all what is friendship, Is there any rule book as how two friend should treat each other, just like the blood connection we are taught about. Well, yes certainly there are few do's and don'ts which any sensible mature person would consider in order to make it a life long association.

Another refreshment for those who tolerated my previous write ups, trying to explore another shade of life called "friend ship".

Swimming in the pool of marriage is just a decade now, when I get time to gasp and breath I do realize how it made me shed off few layers of immaturity . I was old enough to marry but young enough to wait for few more years. The combination of pretty girl with an average mark sheet is most heartedly welcomed in India for marriage. Wearing a huge smile on my face with the wimps and fancies of the new relationship status, I dived into the deep water of marriage with no clue of its depth.
The new routine was absolutely incredulous from morning till night. The parantha's got replaced by sizzling " Omelet" in the pan, which supposedly were the most precious possession of the "hen" who laid it. The chapatti became delicacy and rice became the "king" and fish took the crown of "queen" of each meal. New leaves and curries also joined the menu, Nothing should be wasted from leaf to the root was, the new mantra of cooking.
Well, that's just the eatery deviation, the main "break through point" begins with the cut, paste and reset of your habits, lifestyle and your behavior, Every thing is re-booted, till one reaches the tolerant level graded by the adopted family for the life time.
And that's not all, the spouse gifts a "glut of new friends" supposedly their friends and now your friends absolutely free. So, from day one you take over the appointment with no induction as such. The cordial invitations of the dinners and cocktails follow, offering "dainty viands" by the new set of their family friends, where you feel like a "flower arrangement" kept on the center of the table at the receiving end of encomium.
The new comrade were introduced to me, few days before our marriage. The time when our anxieties, excitements and deadline ignored the 45 degree scorching heat and apprehensions of associates of both the sides. The plan of action got executed well, resulting both of us sitting in the ceremony making promises to each other with the core intention of moldings them in later times as in when required. After the rituals of marriage we both joined the league of the married people association, with the shiny sundry incidents waiting for us. The interesting married couple, who happened to be in the A class segment of family friends of my spouse family, were among the oldest friends. The gravity of their opinions and choices never missed the attention and acknowledgement.

The gentleman was from a small town of Bihar, with an average built and height of about 5'6" whose age had starting reaping in, which was well displayed by the grey hair playing hide and seek inside the thick jungle of his moustaches, which marked his masculinity. Whereas the grey's of the head were made to wore black layer of Godrej dye, making them advertise as proudly as the original black ones. With the tiny sharp eye's carrying arc of thick eyebrows and smile which each time reflected the love marks of "Rajni Gandha Pan Masala" on his front fort of teeth. The small paunch was the mark of recent prosperity and contentment, with a whisper of "no workout". The shoulders gasconaded branded checks with the coordinating trousers. When he spoke, the MTI ( mother tongue influence) of his mother land, enchanted his both Hindi and English, giving a feel of another addition to the ruckus of corporate world of Delhi.  The lady was NRB ( Non Residential Bengali), with the school and college of Delhi. One of the few amulets who, got the best advantage when the IT industry in India came on Boom!! during late 90's.
The child was the result of combination of late 30's and early forty's of the parents, as was well taken cared by the governess.

The days turned into weeks, weeks into months and months changed the calendar with the new set of holiday list. It was already three years now, with most of the weekends, Diwali parties, new years parties and short holiday trips solely dedicated to the company of these folks. Deep down my heart always longed for the comfort zone, which we always have with our peers, but each meeting lacked something. Moreover for me, it was the process of observing without any pre-conceived notion, the cob-webs of relation which was yet to reach its end knot.
The gentleman was vocal and the lady was with limited words. He would try to sound facetious and amiable most of the times. But, with due course the behavior slowly wrought up being impudent with pungent smell of arrogance and derision. The equation never changed forever since then. To the contrary we were as humble and courteous to them. It was little weird most of the time as he hardly missed to threw the scornful darts in the form of jocosity. Each time making us bewildered about his statements and behavior. It had reached the stage where humor had merged with the sarcasm, wherein the later the took over the entire sphere of former. The thoughts always bubbled up, saying, "this is not right and should be conveyed". But, something always fettered us from bringing this matter up, we thought it would be boorish on our part.
A friend who is genuinely concerned of your good, would also be sensitive during downfalls of life. Human behavior is very funny, they even started intruding  into our personnel lives, discussing our
equation  within the family, to our financial map, to our professional lives and then making judgments and remarks. On the contrary we gave them ample space to breath in their own domain of family life. Each family, has its own story of its existence and survival from all  highs and lows. No family is perfect, each one has few cracks which are plastered to heal and others which are already solidified turning the pillar of strength even stronger.

It is rightly said, " Two things define you. Your patience when you have nothing and your gratitude when you have everything." To handle success is far more onerous than to sustain during the time of breakdown. Its very simple, failures show the path of struggle, hard work and faith. Once the desired ambitions are earned and one reaches another level of the hierarchy it gives tremendous charge to the self - esteem and self appreciation. There are very few, who still remain grounded and do not allow their achievements to ride on their head. But, if its other way round, where the politeness gets devoured by ego and pride. The outcome is exactly what we had to taste during this association.
Why, would anyone behave in such a way, I ended up having long detailed conversation with my husband," Are they really our friends", They always showed up during situations but we too, never failed to stand next to them during blues. So, does it mean, we are entitled to take all the nonsense and silly remarks. After all why would anyone do that ??? None of our other family friends, ever behaved in such a way, with others we would laugh and giggle on silly jokes, mock each other, discuss all sorts of problems without feeling a hitch of any discomfort
The reason could've be anything, " starting from their cozy bedroom to their offices". Our being humble, gave him a room to vent out  his vexation, in result giving Orgasm!! to his ego.
So where to draw the line, should we confront as why most of the time, he is derisive or should we just shrug it off. Well, the same dilemma went through for the next two years.

Over the period of time, we both realized the friendship instead of enriching and growing had reached the stagnancy. One, incident gave the last push to the valley of separation. There were no confrontation or discussions. No telephonic calls or emails. Just silence.

Its been almost five years now. I still wonder, why we could not draw the line to the marks of derision and jeering behavior by snapping it off long back, what a waste of time. But, as the wise men said, " every thing happens for a reason." The taste of association gave a permanent print on our hearts, It showed us the non-acceptable mold in friendship.

The core intention is not to dis grace or deteriorate some one down, for the same reason the elaboration of incidents are evaded. The stress is to make right choices of friends too in life. Its nice to be friendly with everyone, but making actual friends is tough task as it takes lots of efforts, time and care to nurture it. On the social network sights, one can see list of hundreds of people in the friend list. I am sanguine to say, " out of the entire list there would be handful which are in the immediate aura of our love and affection". Friendship is not just meant for time pass or entertainment its much beyond that. Its very much similar to the blood relations, the only difference is that,  the D.N.A bonding's are gifted to us since the time we get into the womb and friends join us during the journey of life. But, one common factor is shared by both " Mutual Respect".

Some journey's of friendship begin with bitterness followed by ups and downs, leading to reap in a matured association. And, on the other hand, in some the beginning is blurred with the sweetness of "actions and favors" till the time one realizes he/she is pirouetting as per the desires and moods of the so called friends.

There are some lessons in life, which are learned in one go, while the other's take lot of conflict between your intellect and emotions.....
The maturity of a man is measured by how he treats others and not by his age, this completely fits into the inset of the situation we faced. The sub-conscious mind plays a huge role. There are many things, which we absorb un-consciously shaping up our thought process, personality and look out towards life and relations. Sitting with creative people will definitely trigger the imagination cells of yours, intellectual people will inspire you, successful people would give you a vision. On the other side people with pessimist approach can only enhance you to criticize self and family. The process is very slow, which we don't realize eventually. Although the deep routed values and
conscience/intuition will always talk to you, but suppressing it can lead to huge blunders on the name of friendship which is truly pious.


The serenity is that, blunders leave perpetual marks as a reminder for the rest of your life.

To value your friendship at the same time valuing your own dignity has a thin line. Allow only those who respect your dignity too.

Chemical Lotcha...

Life - which is so dynamic, colorful, challenging, fun with all the shades of  black, white and Greys !!!  There's something more to it, These thoughts were drumming  my little brain, which unfortunately was academically challenged. But, after loads of pulls and pushes I managed to stretch it to some level, where it can pour out some wisdom.
Since the olive life, doesn't permits us to get stuck at one place, we came to Kolkata after hopping snowy mountains and jungles. We certainly had huge hopes of more quality time while exploring the essence of the city, people, friends and family.
But, As they say, " you want God to smile at you then make plans for your life".
The vanity box of our life had new shades and colors in the form of stress, frustration, over-commitment at work, misunderstandings, On top of it the boss who knew the art of creating ten commands out of one. Our life got beautifully scripted as a " screwed up" one.
Each organization, has its own set of functioning, hierarchy and work culture. Sometimes situation instead of smoothening gets worsen up. Which is still ok as it is part of life and a phase for which we simply wait to pass on. But during the flow, it does takes a toll on us.
So, to avoid myself from any negative thoughts I enrolled myself in many activities and everything became time bound. Even the machineries fail if they get over used. The over-driven car would too demand pampering of the service station. For me it came out in the form of a sleeping disorder. It was un-noticed, till I turned into a mad cow and my irrational erratic behavior started to cocoon everyone in the house.
My mum, who was brought up in a very protective environment of a traditional family of Rajasthan with no exposure of  the world outside coaxed me to seek help. whereas, most well read cultivated people would hesitate to refer to the psychiatrist, " as the thought of being tagged" frights them.
To my amusement, it got entrenched when I bumped into an acquaintance, a very well read government officer while coming out of the O.P.D. With the eye's popping out in full astonishment, doubt and fear, he said " Mam, yahan kahan aa gaye. Ye apko pagal kar denge". I got stupefied and he kept on shooting his wisdom for the next few minutes with the remarks like, " ye depression anxiety kuch nahi hota hae sab dimaag ka waham hae etc etc". I didn't feel like arguing. It made me wonder, that in a well advanced literate world, where people absorb information right from their finger tip, the majority fragment still lives in the world of rigorous and orthodox tribal village.

A well advanced science meant to help people still in question......

We live in a dogged world where the spotlight is only on ambitions, designations, degrees, investments, turn over, equities and brands. An expanding global market with diminutive personal life. Spouses travelling round the globe for business of the company, in lure of which it offers you holiday packages, perks and another targets to be achieved. Our lives are just wedged between the demands of today's lifestyle. We have no choice but to flow with the brook of life

But, does that mean we ignore the intangible aspects of our health.

A well balanced life has ingredients of good finances, good physical and mental health , with an adorable family, children and friends doing at their best. The deficiency of finances and other elements is palpable and thus immediate corrective steps are taken by the individual to handle the same. For example loosing a job makes one immediately flow the c.v. The child flunking in the academic session gets immediate help of tutors and teachers. Sudden, appendices leads to surgery without any wait. These issues get addressed because they are physically witnessed by us and a little ignored approach can affect the glee of our lives.
On the other hand, the mega workshop inside our skull and the hormone secreting glands are taken for granted. There work is visible only in the concrete world. We can not peep inside our brains and say " hello in there, all well"? Henceforth, series of mood fluctuation means oh " I am just too tired" need a holiday, wife not able to have a proper sleep means, " You hardly do any physical exertion, why would you feel sleepy". Low self-esteem of a teenager gets to take on the comments like, " Go face the world, don't be a chicken.
So, sealing the can of thoughts, trying to believe what people and folks say is all that we do. Society has formed very strong set of opinions about it and are not willing to even acknowledge it.
We are human beings with limited physical energy and a brain which accumulates heaps of knowledge, experiences and information. It enables us to possess the cognitive skills and intelligence leading to adaptation in various situations and phases of life. The immediate environment, situations and people around us influence our thoughts. Which in result affects the hormones and chemicals secreted in our body which decide our moods and behavior to a great extent. Every human masterpiece  has its own capacity and ways of dealing with stress, pressure and everyday incidents. Some have the strength of absorbing and resolving them, Some seek tenacity from friends and family.
A rubber band stretched beyond certain point, Breaks!! and we are no different...
It gets witnessed and forgotten by the society when people harm or consume their own lives due to any psychological problems or illness. A very strong glitch breathing underneath the layer of current civilization..
We don't have a hitch, to visit a Skin specialist or ENT or a Neurologist or an Orthopedic, So, what's so big deal in visiting a Psychiatrist.  The theories, studies, observations, experiments done over the years has helped the man kind. Right from parenting to a marital discord or dealing with your teenager child or an old parent, these people give reasoning and guidance based on the years of thesis.  After studying the child psychology and child behavior, It convinced me completely.
Society has a well defined structure with a strict radius of norms we are allowed to stay in. If you happen to fall inside the radius you'll be accepted, but if you are slightly out of the boundary, it follows gobs of criticism and reluctance. Sometimes, we all need to think beyond the horizon. One has to have faith in new systems and inventions. Thankfully, my spouse could see, I needed help and he took me to the right place without getting judgmental. Had it been other way round, my behavior could've lead our married life to devastating situation.
It is something like, when your lap baby cries, we try and find out, why baby is crying and do the needful. We don't blame, criticize or form opinion about the little one for his particular behavior.
But, as they grow up we start getting into blame game of telling each other as how to behave and its level of acceptability. The element of love, affection and above all understanding gets dissolved and turns into confusion, frustration and rage.

Happiness is like a boomerang, when you throw it, it comes back flying towards you.
We all need love, care, empathy, affection and someone who understands our feelings but for that we need to give the same to our immediate people around, to give them required attention, listen to them quietly and understanding the hidden meaning of a yell or a cry.

Growth is not about owing another luxury vehicle or precious stones, its about Change!!

Change of thoughts about this entire issue. Change of approach, Change of initiative, Change to accept the problem and doing the needful without getting judgmental, Change to accept your people as they are and to ensure the lost smiles, the energies, affection and life is back to your beloved ones..











 

Jaunt..

Can't believe two years back, I updated the status on Face book timeline - Packing, Time to move. And now, exactly after two year's the calendar saying aloud," Time to open the old boxes filled with dust, time to discard the unused stuff, time to slowly start winding up the little nick knacks and time to disconnect with this place and welcome a new location with a new story"

Packing is just not about, zipping up your belongings, Its about putting your vehicle of your life on first gear and starting a new journey all over again. It starts with, the making up of your mind, convincing it that you are going to a better place, " even if it is some remote place, lying at the rim of the country, with few local shops and a restaurant". But as they say nothing is permanent, The fresh air, the cool breeze and the serenity won't tolerate you for ever, henceforth you would be ushered to taste the civil life twice or thrice a year.

The first step on the railway station, gives a clear picture of the actual population of the country. The Cement jungle and sky scrapers gives a jolt to the Einstein resting in your head. The vehicles in full momentum and flyovers mean a complete different world for initial 40 minutes. You crawl in malls like an alien, eat pizza like you've never had it and buy the best cloths available, so that during your next visit they are out dated already.

So, if you are a bachelor, any place is a good place. As long as there is a grilled chicken dancing in the plate with the " Old Monk" bottle glaring at you from table and a stock of all sort of movie's in the pen will drive you to sustain. For newly weds any place is convivial, as long as they get the permission to stay together, Even if it is a tin house, with one fan hanging on the false ceiling - life is great!!!
For those with crawling babies can still managed to have the opera of their family life. The children floating in their teens will make their mommy stay at the peace, while the daddy enjoys the same what the bachelor clan does.

The metro city is like a dessert, every one waits after a disastrous meal hoping it will occupy the vacuum leading to the contentment. Metro cities will make you hop from mess to temporary and then from temporary to permanent accommodation. Your life is all about few opened suitcases and boxes waiting to be inaugurated.

 The ecstatic moment when you know the permanent postal address for the left over tenure.  Within  one month of entering the house, you are settled with the boxes being opened, things being laid out and fixed. Carpets nicely spread on the floor. Souvenirs, mementos and crystals smartly flaunting themselves. Saaris and suits nicely resting in the Amirah's with the smell of perfumes. Pots and plants also find a place to give you fresh oxygen in the balconies. Crockery on and off starts travelling to the dinning table as the formal and personal parties rock your life.
The leftover stuff, which unfortunately finds no place in the house or the garbage are placed carefully as a form of nostalgia in the boxes. They will only feel the touch of the owner, when its  time to move because of an upcoming course or retirement or shifting to another place.

The dining in party, " where were you placed before", "how long you've been married", " how old is your son" and with same smile stuck on your face you reply with the hope of jelling down and being accepted as a person you are. But the search never ends, as a lady you always look forward to good set of friends with similar thought wave. You are truly lucky if you happen to find any. Or else, please be safe and just share the recipes of cakes or  discuss schooling of your child, bitching about mother in law to an extent is also acceptable and Yes!! not to forget Sarees!! the evergreen non controversial thing to discuss even with the most constipated breeds.

Human beings are graced with huge level of intelligence, which makes them to get adapted anywhere with new faces, climatic conditions and challenges which come along with the package.
When you have no choice but to accept. Accept with grace whatever comes your way. The new view from your window settles in your head and heart. The chirpy mornings rejuvenate your soul and honking of vehicles' push you to run with fast moving life. The new school uniform of your child, becomes active and rest all goes into past tense.

Moving out of the cozy shell, exploring new places, making choices, making new bonding and learning as much you can is all about it. The moment its comfortable and monotonous, its time to un-lock the boxes with nostalgia's waiting inside. And most vital job is to start accumulating good memories of people and friends, store them safe in your head and heart forever. You might not meet these faces ever, but the memory will be alive making you connected with these souls for the rest of your jaunt.



















  

Womb...Vagina....Life.....

There's nothing outrageous in what I am about to write, but I am sure it will bring silent smiles to all those who have experienced it or will be tasting it in the coming times......

Marriage is  nothing, but  a legal commitment to stay with a person, sharing the entire life's sweet - sour experiences, knowing and making the best of each other's strengths and search the ways to avoid weaknesses together...

So what's so great about it ???.... To me, and what I could little understand that, it is something you hate to be in but you are anxious not to be out of it".....I got married, like everyone else does in this democratic country.....Excitements like, " buying your own furniture, upholstery, cushions, crockery....Eating out, Late night dinner's and movies settled after some time and we started to be counted upon as a prospective would be parents. The ladies will look at me with the same gaze in their eyes, with the same monotonous question on their lips, and " I could never explain, why that one special sperm is awaiting to hit the egg". Yeah,we are planning this year, In heart wanted to yell to the peak, Well Mamma why don't you have another baby if your hormones are jumping. With passion, hard-work and zeal..... I conceived too!! The irony was, my husband had to leave the very next day for a field posting, I felt "as if God whispering to me, " darling I have done the magic, now you please take it ahead". I was welcomed back to  my parents place, with lots of love.  The time flew with the awesome treatment of pampering, feeding, once in a while husband visits and news letters from babycentre.com. The baby, by ninth month occupied a decent space in my womb ant it was time for him to come out and make people's life miserable.

Here's recap of it.....On each b'day of my son, " my head and heart recalls each moment of the time spent at the labor room with the ticking of the clock".

It was witnessed by the best Govt. Hospital of our country, who was staunched to follow the SOP's( Standard Operating Procedures) with the huge pride. Little discovered pain made us reach the hospital at mid night on Christmas, the nurse took the details and I was admitted in the ward with the three other fresh born babies and mommies. Holy cow, besides the discomfort of my tummy and hustling to invent the best comfortable sleeping position, The non stop cuing and crying of the babies didn't let me sleep at all. I shrilled to myself God!! this is what i longed for ?? 

In spite of the breach position the docs were buoyant and I was sweetly discharged. My life was going to jumble completely and it was high time that I enjoy the last few days with the baby in my womb, So I dragged us both to Basant lok and gobbled apple pie with lemon tea. PVR enticed too with the latest released movie 3 idiots. Damn, the movie too had a scene of child delivery!!! Another contrivance by the universe. While driving back to the mess, I would shriek each time the car felt the road bums, as there was no scope at all for the tummy to stretch. Late in the  night of 31st Dec 2009, something awkward happened which made me frenzy. Hope, its not the false alarm and we get back with our bundle of joy. Engrossed, in the flow of these thoughts we again arrived at the door of the place where pregnant woman gets dismantled into two !! With their hearts walking out of their bodies, in the form of their children for the rest of their lives.

All was set, the baby bag and the "sarkari" documents, The obese South Indian nurse, did the paper work and here I was back with the colossal tummy with the charged baby inside.

The early morning of 1st January, One of the trainee gynecologist showed up and said will induce the pain late in the evening, To my horror I said, " why to wait so long", the reply came "because it is the Army Medical Core day and all the doctors have gone for the Raising Day Party" , What!!!!!! I came with the hope of emptying my gigantic tummy!!! Once the medically induced pain were on, I started to tussle with slight pains and cramps. By 2200 hrs, " I called up my elder sister, she came like an angel for a while and gave spiritual gyan. I was lying in the ward and was capable of giving jitters to the woman around. So, to avoid that the MNS would send me to the labor room.The staff at labor room would again throw me back to the ward with the feedback of, " abhi cervix ready nahi hae".I was like a football till 4 in the morning. Finally, I was made to stay at the labor room. Freezing - Chilling cold winters of Delhi with no Power!!, Absolutely pitch dark and nurse managing the whole show with a torch in her hand, " The only savior". My cramp cycle was in co-ordination with the labor groan of another lady in the next room. The doc was a civilian doc, dealing with not very literate woman, " as he was coaxing her constantly by saying, behengi Zor lagao", hearing all this my soul was sinking and wondered why did I even got pregnant.

With the meme of society and family, we the woman are groomed, taught and trained. We learn, to carry our self with full grace, we do not discuss about how we feel about our body, we also learn to keep men with unhealthy intentions away, Ensure to have an arm distance while talking. Above all, " Men are dogs" nicely sandwiched between the slices of wisdom and values into our heads.

And now, life made me lie totally exposed in front of the male doctors, who won't look at your face but there!!!!!!! With dexterous hands set with sterilized gloves ready to take a drive inside your most hidden area with mysteries in each layer.  Damn, I can't disappear. The drive ruptured the water bag in the morning at 900 hrs with another set of injections, followed by severe painful cramp cycles. The intensity of which was shaking all my nerves to the core. By the time one round of cramp subsided the next one was all set to rush in. The nurses and aaya's were all immune to the howling women coming everyday, the preference for them was the paperwork, making documents, putting stamps, writing all the details and taking doctors in the loop.

At 1300 hrs MNS came with the same inquisitive eyes and uttered intellectually , " lagta hae cesarean karna padega". Those moments came in like a reminder, " how precious the life breathing in me was". I stood on my toes and was all set for my next stoppage of giving birth. Within few minutes with the weird looking OT costume, a urine bladder in one hand,syringes feeling my nerve, sitting on a wheel chair reached the main door, " where my mother and would be daddy" received me with the most horrified and petrified expression. The Ambulance was called, " which was almost a truck size ( usually used in the forces). Should I manage the labor pain or step inside the ambulance...My brain was frozen, I could not talk  or even hear anything. All the energies managed themselves to turn into labor pain. After huge difficulty managed to lie down inside the life saving ambulance. With the Cervix of 8 inches, breach position of the baby and labor pains at the last juncture took me to another world. Suddenly i felt a tight grip on my right hand and big frightened eyes gazing at me, I could hear him saying, " I am with you", It was not the time to even think of who's gonna be with me, I groaned " Shut UP". We reached the OT where there was no attendant and stretcher turned transparent. Two adults with one pregnant lady were standing deserted during peak winters of Delhi and One shawl trying to give warmth to both humans. I hazily remember there were some people around but they seemed helpless. Few more minutes of another struggle made me reach the waiting list of operation theater. Lying next to me was a very old man whose dentures had gone for a holiday trip leaving him with the jaw wide open due to anesthetic affect. I  pondered, am i at the right place??? The doctors became the God then, and non stop screeching could only manage to bring a trainee doctor, whose hand was clamped till he ensured that OT was ready for me. One injection at the back and the pain slipped off. With the little stretching of the skin layers, the chit chatting of the doctors and the background music played on FM, I heard the pale whimpering of a new born life. I could feel the gush of happiness all over my body, Someone who belonged to me will come into my arms. Few minutes after, I saw the most sparkling eyes, pink cheeks and jet black hair. Once I regained my consciousness i wondered its a boy or a girl. I again requested to show me my belonging. Now this time I looked and looked and looked. Its a handsome sonny boy, the contentment of beautifully formed baby, the thrills and the music of happiness followed in my soul and heart...

After giving birth, the definition of me being a woman changed completely.The vagina, the part which is usually perceived a body organ to study by the science, a pleasure part for humans. The body part given nick names to avoid discomforts or embarrassment. The part which almost every man fantasizes about. The part which women feel hesitant and awkward about. Where the name itself is a taboo among the society......

It connects the womb!!The first home of humans. Where they comfortably stay, eat, breath and grow for full nine months.

The Vagina is like a heart of a woman it accepts whatever comes its way, It forgives if it is hurt, It remembers beautiful moments of life, It welcomes love and affection. It takes hatred and humiliation and again rebuilds without any complain. And the most divine role it plays by allowing one half of human to meet the other half. And then turning into a tunnel to let the departure take its success by migrating the human to the real world. Once that role is over, it quietly gets back to original self again. 

My heartfelt gratitude to my mother and the gratitude to the almighty for making me experience the same.

Its magical, its magnificent, Its divine...

stupid philosophy...

Life is truly dynamic. Keeps on changing. Just like the opinions and the ambitions of the people.

Ambition...Sounds so big. How many of us have an ambition to be happy or to help others or to be sensitive towards relations. Mostly ambitions are associated with materials and in the monitory form. Specially Delhites have this habit of bragging about the materialistic ambitions, " oh, I am gonna own Audi" or " I want to attain CEO seat",
Its because as a child the ambitions are always defined to us, later on it always makes the life more distressed.....

Life was much simpler during 80's I remember, the struggle was limited to attain a bajaj scooter from cycle. The concept of birthday celebration was much simpler. The other day, me and my friend had a hearty laugh over this, the cake was always the center of attraction ( more than the bday child), A long string of balloons with abstract designs hanging on the uneven surface of the wall, the deliberate effort of forming some design used to be quite visible. Paper ribbon, delicately stuck to the center of the fan to the roof, to form a beautiful chandelier look. Eateries, were mostly a cake, gulab jamun, mixture, samosa. But the Cake!! was admired by sparkling eyes till it went into their tiny tummies.

In every party, their used to be one, notorious most hated by other kids, " a huckleberry finn", who would love to grab the balloons and squeeze them to relish the sound of " phataaakk". Return gift , a toffee ( a kismi bar or cadboury), Pencil...a rubber if the host had a flexibility. Not to forget cone shaped glittery bday caps.

Entertainment meant, sitting with family and reciting poems, Grandma would share her stories of her child hood, Over all no glam but more of flavors and simple colors..

Now, theme parties really scare me......

The moral values and ethics have taken back seat now and " Materialistic Ambitions" have taken the front seat, parents are too busy in corporate meetings and planning finances for their child. Instead of good quality conversations, i pads and play stations are easier way outs. Couples, hardly talk to each other, extra marital too common, Marriage has become a sham....than a life long commitment.

Instead of grabbing the CEO position, why cant people have an ambition, " oh, I will play with my son basket ball every Saturday", I will ensure to meet my mother on her b'day, I will talk to my wife about how was her day, I will take my child to an orphanage on his birthday...to share good meals...I will be nice to the the house helps.....

The real essence of life, is not about how big we become but to have a warm and loving heart, who is always willing to embrace and love people around.

A beautiful relation will have the same pleasure and contentment in munching a roadside popcorn or sitting in some fancy restaurant with Italiano food laid out...

Its all about how we relish each flavor of life in small bites one by one........

Yeh Meri Life.......

Yeh meri life.....

Tedi see Medi see...confuse see...
Jab lage kuch acha.....to ho jaoon bore....
Jab ho jaoon bore.....To karti hoon shor!!
Shor ke baad...Mujhe aaye yaad.....
Oh..I am hungry..ho jaaongi fine.....khane ke baad....

Kabhi lage I am very ambious.....
To dusre hee pal.....Sab theek to hae....I am done with everything.....
Kabhi lage " Ah I am young and Hott!!".....
To Dusre Pal.....Yaad aata hae.....Thirties is on !!
Uff bahut ho gaya...enough of adjustment......
the next moment..."Where will you go, babes..no more option"!!


From jeans to suits and skirts to sarees.....
Aur kitne changes God!!
kabhi Ma..Kabhi beti....kabhi biwi...kabhi bahu......
lagta hae sab kuch chod kar....chali jaoon bahut dooor....!!!!!

Ye meri life...
Tedi see..... Medi see.....Confuse see.........