Life - which is so dynamic, colorful, challenging, fun with all the shades of black, white and Greys !!! There's something more to it, These thoughts were drumming my little brain, which unfortunately was academically challenged. But, after loads of pulls and pushes I managed to stretch it to some level, where it can pour out some wisdom.
Since the olive life, doesn't permits us to get stuck at one place, we came to Kolkata after hopping snowy mountains and jungles. We certainly had huge hopes of more quality time while exploring the essence of the city, people, friends and family.
But, As they say, " you want God to smile at you then make plans for your life".
The vanity box of our life had new shades and colors in the form of stress, frustration, over-commitment at work, misunderstandings, On top of it the boss who knew the art of creating ten commands out of one. Our life got beautifully scripted as a " screwed up" one.
Each organization, has its own set of functioning, hierarchy and work culture. Sometimes situation instead of smoothening gets worsen up. Which is still ok as it is part of life and a phase for which we simply wait to pass on. But during the flow, it does takes a toll on us.
So, to avoid myself from any negative thoughts I enrolled myself in many activities and everything became time bound. Even the machineries fail if they get over used. The over-driven car would too demand pampering of the service station. For me it came out in the form of a sleeping disorder. It was un-noticed, till I turned into a mad cow and my irrational erratic behavior started to cocoon everyone in the house.
My mum, who was brought up in a very protective environment of a traditional family of Rajasthan with no exposure of the world outside coaxed me to seek help. whereas, most well read cultivated people would hesitate to refer to the psychiatrist, " as the thought of being tagged" frights them.
To my amusement, it got entrenched when I bumped into an acquaintance, a very well read government officer while coming out of the O.P.D. With the eye's popping out in full astonishment, doubt and fear, he said " Mam, yahan kahan aa gaye. Ye apko pagal kar denge". I got stupefied and he kept on shooting his wisdom for the next few minutes with the remarks like, " ye depression anxiety kuch nahi hota hae sab dimaag ka waham hae etc etc". I didn't feel like arguing. It made me wonder, that in a well advanced literate world, where people absorb information right from their finger tip, the majority fragment still lives in the world of rigorous and orthodox tribal village.
A well advanced science meant to help people still in question......
We live in a dogged world where the spotlight is only on ambitions, designations, degrees, investments, turn over, equities and brands. An expanding global market with diminutive personal life. Spouses travelling round the globe for business of the company, in lure of which it offers you holiday packages, perks and another targets to be achieved. Our lives are just wedged between the demands of today's lifestyle. We have no choice but to flow with the brook of life
But, does that mean we ignore the intangible aspects of our health.
A well balanced life has ingredients of good finances, good physical and mental health , with an adorable family, children and friends doing at their best. The deficiency of finances and other elements is palpable and thus immediate corrective steps are taken by the individual to handle the same. For example loosing a job makes one immediately flow the c.v. The child flunking in the academic session gets immediate help of tutors and teachers. Sudden, appendices leads to surgery without any wait. These issues get addressed because they are physically witnessed by us and a little ignored approach can affect the glee of our lives.
On the other hand, the mega workshop inside our skull and the hormone secreting glands are taken for granted. There work is visible only in the concrete world. We can not peep inside our brains and say " hello in there, all well"? Henceforth, series of mood fluctuation means oh " I am just too tired" need a holiday, wife not able to have a proper sleep means, " You hardly do any physical exertion, why would you feel sleepy". Low self-esteem of a teenager gets to take on the comments like, " Go face the world, don't be a chicken.
So, sealing the can of thoughts, trying to believe what people and folks say is all that we do. Society has formed very strong set of opinions about it and are not willing to even acknowledge it.
We are human beings with limited physical energy and a brain which accumulates heaps of knowledge, experiences and information. It enables us to possess the cognitive skills and intelligence leading to adaptation in various situations and phases of life. The immediate environment, situations and people around us influence our thoughts. Which in result affects the hormones and chemicals secreted in our body which decide our moods and behavior to a great extent. Every human masterpiece has its own capacity and ways of dealing with stress, pressure and everyday incidents. Some have the strength of absorbing and resolving them, Some seek tenacity from friends and family.
A rubber band stretched beyond certain point, Breaks!! and we are no different...
It gets witnessed and forgotten by the society when people harm or consume their own lives due to any psychological problems or illness. A very strong glitch breathing underneath the layer of current civilization..
We don't have a hitch, to visit a Skin specialist or ENT or a Neurologist or an Orthopedic, So, what's so big deal in visiting a Psychiatrist. The theories, studies, observations, experiments done over the years has helped the man kind. Right from parenting to a marital discord or dealing with your teenager child or an old parent, these people give reasoning and guidance based on the years of thesis. After studying the child psychology and child behavior, It convinced me completely.
Society has a well defined structure with a strict radius of norms we are allowed to stay in. If you happen to fall inside the radius you'll be accepted, but if you are slightly out of the boundary, it follows gobs of criticism and reluctance. Sometimes, we all need to think beyond the horizon. One has to have faith in new systems and inventions. Thankfully, my spouse could see, I needed help and he took me to the right place without getting judgmental. Had it been other way round, my behavior could've lead our married life to devastating situation.
It is something like, when your lap baby cries, we try and find out, why baby is crying and do the needful. We don't blame, criticize or form opinion about the little one for his particular behavior.
But, as they grow up we start getting into blame game of telling each other as how to behave and its level of acceptability. The element of love, affection and above all understanding gets dissolved and turns into confusion, frustration and rage.
Happiness is like a boomerang, when you throw it, it comes back flying towards you.
We all need love, care, empathy, affection and someone who understands our feelings but for that we need to give the same to our immediate people around, to give them required attention, listen to them quietly and understanding the hidden meaning of a yell or a cry.
Growth is not about owing another luxury vehicle or precious stones, its about Change!!
Change of thoughts about this entire issue. Change of approach, Change of initiative, Change to accept the problem and doing the needful without getting judgmental, Change to accept your people as they are and to ensure the lost smiles, the energies, affection and life is back to your beloved ones..
