There's nothing outrageous in what I am about to write, but I am sure it will bring silent smiles to all those who have experienced it or will be tasting it in the coming times......
Marriage is nothing, but a legal commitment to stay with a person, sharing the entire life's sweet - sour experiences, knowing and making the best of each other's strengths and search the ways to avoid weaknesses together...
So what's so great about it ???.... To me, and what I could little understand that, it is something you hate to be in but you are anxious not to be out of it".....I got married, like everyone else does in this democratic country.....Excitements like, " buying your own furniture, upholstery, cushions, crockery....Eating out, Late night dinner's and movies settled after some time and we started to be counted upon as a prospective would be parents. The ladies will look at me with the same gaze in their eyes, with the same monotonous question on their lips, and " I could never explain, why that one special sperm is awaiting to hit the egg". Yeah,we are planning this year, In heart wanted to yell to the peak, Well Mamma why don't you have another baby if your hormones are jumping. With passion, hard-work and zeal..... I conceived too!! The irony was, my husband had to leave the very next day for a field posting, I felt "as if God whispering to me, " darling I have done the magic, now you please take it ahead". I was welcomed back to my parents place, with lots of love. The time flew with the awesome treatment of pampering, feeding, once in a while husband visits and news letters from babycentre.com. The baby, by ninth month occupied a decent space in my womb ant it was time for him to come out and make people's life miserable.
Here's recap of it.....On each b'day of my son, " my head and heart recalls each moment of the time spent at the labor room with the ticking of the clock".
It was witnessed by the best Govt. Hospital of our country, who was staunched to follow the SOP's( Standard Operating Procedures) with the huge pride. Little discovered pain made us reach the hospital at mid night on Christmas, the nurse took the details and I was admitted in the ward with the three other fresh born babies and mommies. Holy cow, besides the discomfort of my tummy and hustling to invent the best comfortable sleeping position, The non stop cuing and crying of the babies didn't let me sleep at all. I shrilled to myself God!! this is what i longed for ??
In spite of the breach position the docs were buoyant and I was sweetly discharged. My life was going to jumble completely and it was high time that I enjoy the last few days with the baby in my womb, So I dragged us both to Basant lok and gobbled apple pie with lemon tea. PVR enticed too with the latest released movie 3 idiots. Damn, the movie too had a scene of child delivery!!! Another contrivance by the universe. While driving back to the mess, I would shriek each time the car felt the road bums, as there was no scope at all for the tummy to stretch. Late in the night of 31st Dec 2009, something awkward happened which made me frenzy. Hope, its not the false alarm and we get back with our bundle of joy. Engrossed, in the flow of these thoughts we again arrived at the door of the place where pregnant woman gets dismantled into two !! With their hearts walking out of their bodies, in the form of their children for the rest of their lives.
All was set, the baby bag and the "sarkari" documents, The obese South Indian nurse, did the paper work and here I was back with the colossal tummy with the charged baby inside.
The early morning of 1st January, One of the trainee gynecologist showed up and said will induce the pain late in the evening, To my horror I said, " why to wait so long", the reply came "because it is the Army Medical Core day and all the doctors have gone for the Raising Day Party" , What!!!!!! I came with the hope of emptying my gigantic tummy!!! Once the medically induced pain were on, I started to tussle with slight pains and cramps. By 2200 hrs, " I called up my elder sister, she came like an angel for a while and gave spiritual gyan. I was lying in the ward and was capable of giving jitters to the woman around. So, to avoid that the MNS would send me to the labor room.The staff at labor room would again throw me back to the ward with the feedback of, " abhi cervix ready nahi hae".I was like a football till 4 in the morning. Finally, I was made to stay at the labor room. Freezing - Chilling cold winters of Delhi with no Power!!, Absolutely pitch dark and nurse managing the whole show with a torch in her hand, " The only savior". My cramp cycle was in co-ordination with the labor groan of another lady in the next room. The doc was a civilian doc, dealing with not very literate woman, " as he was coaxing her constantly by saying, behengi Zor lagao", hearing all this my soul was sinking and wondered why did I even got pregnant.
With the meme of society and family, we the woman are groomed, taught and trained. We learn, to carry our self with full grace, we do not discuss about how we feel about our body, we also learn to keep men with unhealthy intentions away, Ensure to have an arm distance while talking. Above all, " Men are dogs" nicely sandwiched between the slices of wisdom and values into our heads.
And now, life made me lie totally exposed in front of the male doctors, who won't look at your face but there!!!!!!! With dexterous hands set with sterilized gloves ready to take a drive inside your most hidden area with mysteries in each layer. Damn, I can't disappear. The drive ruptured the water bag in the morning at 900 hrs with another set of injections, followed by severe painful cramp cycles. The intensity of which was shaking all my nerves to the core. By the time one round of cramp subsided the next one was all set to rush in. The nurses and aaya's were all immune to the howling women coming everyday, the preference for them was the paperwork, making documents, putting stamps, writing all the details and taking doctors in the loop.
At 1300 hrs MNS came with the same inquisitive eyes and uttered intellectually , " lagta hae cesarean karna padega". Those moments came in like a reminder, " how precious the life breathing in me was". I stood on my toes and was all set for my next stoppage of giving birth. Within few minutes with the weird looking OT costume, a urine bladder in one hand,syringes feeling my nerve, sitting on a wheel chair reached the main door, " where my mother and would be daddy" received me with the most horrified and petrified expression. The Ambulance was called, " which was almost a truck size ( usually used in the forces). Should I manage the labor pain or step inside the ambulance...My brain was frozen, I could not talk or even hear anything. All the energies managed themselves to turn into labor pain. After huge difficulty managed to lie down inside the life saving ambulance. With the Cervix of 8 inches, breach position of the baby and labor pains at the last juncture took me to another world. Suddenly i felt a tight grip on my right hand and big frightened eyes gazing at me, I could hear him saying, " I am with you", It was not the time to even think of who's gonna be with me, I groaned " Shut UP". We reached the OT where there was no attendant and stretcher turned transparent. Two adults with one pregnant lady were standing deserted during peak winters of Delhi and One shawl trying to give warmth to both humans. I hazily remember there were some people around but they seemed helpless. Few more minutes of another struggle made me reach the waiting list of operation theater. Lying next to me was a very old man whose dentures had gone for a holiday trip leaving him with the jaw wide open due to anesthetic affect. I pondered, am i at the right place??? The doctors became the God then, and non stop screeching could only manage to bring a trainee doctor, whose hand was clamped till he ensured that OT was ready for me. One injection at the back and the pain slipped off. With the little stretching of the skin layers, the chit chatting of the doctors and the background music played on FM, I heard the pale whimpering of a new born life. I could feel the gush of happiness all over my body, Someone who belonged to me will come into my arms. Few minutes after, I saw the most sparkling eyes, pink cheeks and jet black hair. Once I regained my consciousness i wondered its a boy or a girl. I again requested to show me my belonging. Now this time I looked and looked and looked. Its a handsome sonny boy, the contentment of beautifully formed baby, the thrills and the music of happiness followed in my soul and heart...
After giving birth, the definition of me being a woman changed completely.The vagina, the part which is usually perceived a body organ to study by the science, a pleasure part for humans. The body part given nick names to avoid discomforts or embarrassment. The part which almost every man fantasizes about. The part which women feel hesitant and awkward about. Where the name itself is a taboo among the society......
It connects the womb!!The first home of humans. Where they comfortably stay, eat, breath and grow for full nine months.
The Vagina is like a heart of a woman it accepts whatever comes its way, It forgives if it is hurt, It remembers beautiful moments of life, It welcomes love and affection. It takes hatred and humiliation and again rebuilds without any complain. And the most divine role it plays by allowing one half of human to meet the other half. And then turning into a tunnel to let the departure take its success by migrating the human to the real world. Once that role is over, it quietly gets back to original self again.
My heartfelt gratitude to my mother and the gratitude to the almighty for making me experience the same.
Its magical, its magnificent, Its divine...
